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Watch: How to MacGyver Up Fresh-Made Pasta Without a Full Kitchen

Grab a paper cutter and tea kettle, and go to town

This recipe — for fresh-made pasta, inside your office, obviously — is a bit over the top, but the mechanics for pulling this off are all inside the average office space: Whether it’s fresh or dry, pasta can be cooked in a kettle, and for the made-from-scratch fresh version, a paper cutter is an amazing source of even “knife” cuts. Now let’s kick it off.

First, work the pasta down on a clean surface. Start with the flour, make a well for your eggs, add some olive oil and salt, then slowly whisk together, combining the ingredients gradually. After it starts looking like dough, bring the rest together and kneed with the butt of your hand for a solid 6 minutes. You’ll know when you are done when the dough has the same feel as the skin on the backside of your hand. Wrap and rest in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

Place bacon on a foil-lined sheet and bake in the oven at 400 degrees F for about 10-15 minutes, or until it is nice and crispy. When the bacon is near ready, get all your ingredients together to finish the dish.

Pull your dough from the fridge and split in to four parts. Roll it into thin sheets and fold over three times; repeat rolling until thin and elastic, then cut into pasta strands with a handy paper cutter (or knife, if you happen to have one). Bring a tea kettle to a boil, adding salt for seasoning. Drop pasta in the water and cook for 1-3 minutes, depending on thickness.

Pull the bacon from the oven and chop into a large dice, and place in a large mixing bowl. Then drain about 1/4 cup of pasta water into a glass and strain the water from the rest of the noodles. Toss pasta with the pieces of bacon and drizzle in about a teaspoon of hot bacon fat.

Whisk eggs in a separate bowl and slowly add hot pasta water to temper the eggs. When fully incorporated, add the grated cheese. Mix thoroughly, then toss with the-still hot pasta. Season with salt and pepper. Plate. Top with extra grated cheese.

This is a lot. But you CAN do this.

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