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10 Questions We Have About Harry Styles’s ‘Sushi Restaurant’ Music Video

... Do I want to eat Harry Styles?

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Today, after months of speculation over what the hell this song is actually about, noted pescatarian Harry Styles released the music video for “Music for a Sushi Restaurant.” In this four-minute fever dream, Styles is a human-squid hybrid who’s literally singing for his supper in a sketchy — if glittery — nightclub called Gill’s Sushi. We see his tentacled tail being shined for the show, Styles gargling with green tea to warm up his vocal cords, and a whole lot of seafood in various states of preparation.

But this video only inspires more questions than it does answers, not the least of which is: How did this man manage to make us all attracted to a giant squid-human hybrid? Here are 10 more of those questions, all of which we’ll keep returning to every time we watch.

  1. Do I want to eat Harry Styles? I think I might want to eat Harry Styles?
  2. Why does Harry Styles want me to eat him?
  3. Could we live with just a taste? (Just a taste!)
  4. Has Harry read The Pisces, a novel that includes explicit sex between a human woman and a merman?
  5. How would you make nigiri out of Harry Styles the squid-human?
  6. What happens to Harry’s human half? Does he just regrow the squid half after service every night? (Note: Octopi in the wild do, in fact, regenerate lost limbs.)
  7. Are they massaging his tentacles with oil to make them shiny for the performance, or so they’re easier to cook later?
  8. Why are all the knives in this sushi restaurant so dull? Not one can cut through Harry’s squid friends fully.
  9. Why am I a little scared right now?
  10. Is Gill’s Sushi Eater’s best new restaurant of 2022? [Editor’s note: maybe????]