Today, after months of speculation over what the hell this song is actually about, noted pescatarian Harry Styles released the music video for “Music for a Sushi Restaurant.” In this four-minute fever dream, Styles is a human-squid hybrid who’s literally singing for his supper in a sketchy — if glittery — nightclub called Gill’s Sushi. We see his tentacled tail being shined for the show, Styles gargling with green tea to warm up his vocal cords, and a whole lot of seafood in various states of preparation.
But this video only inspires more questions than it does answers, not the least of which is: How did this man manage to make us all attracted to a giant squid-human hybrid? Here are 10 more of those questions, all of which we’ll keep returning to every time we watch.
- Do I want to eat Harry Styles? I think I might want to eat Harry Styles?
- Why does Harry Styles want me to eat him?
- Could we live with just a taste? (Just a taste!)
- Has Harry read The Pisces, a novel that includes explicit sex between a human woman and a merman?
- How would you make nigiri out of Harry Styles the squid-human?
- What happens to Harry’s human half? Does he just regrow the squid half after service every night? (Note: Octopi in the wild do, in fact, regenerate lost limbs.)
- Are they massaging his tentacles with oil to make them shiny for the performance, or so they’re easier to cook later?
- Why are all the knives in this sushi restaurant so dull? Not one can cut through Harry’s squid friends fully.
- Why am I a little scared right now?
- Is Gill’s Sushi Eater’s best new restaurant of 2022? [Editor’s note: maybe????]