One of the joys of becoming an adult is realizing the foods that you as a child thought were reserved for billionaires — Ferrero Rocher chocolates, a Hershey’s Symphony bar, the Big Brand cereal — are just things you can buy at your local grocery store. But the Viennetta dessert, a layered ice cream cake that looks like the ruff of a debauched Elizabethan count, was discontinued by the time many of us were old enough to have our own bank accounts. What were we supposed to fill our crystal coupe glasses with? Champagne?!
Fret not, though, because nostalgia is a hell of a profit opportunity. Good Humor announced that after 30 years, the beloved Viennetta is returning to the dessert aisle freezers, along with a ton of other new frozen items. For now it’ll only be available in vanilla, though chocolate, mint, and pistachio versions have been available over the years. No partnerships with KFC or Pizza Hut, which originally carried the dessert on their menus, have been announced.
Still, is there anything so luxurious as a Viennetta? It had an impossible texture, like cold fluff or maybe sweet memory foam, and watching a video of how the perfect ice cream waves are made remains mesmerizing. And as our federal government has basically said “let them eat cake” about ongoing support in the pandemic... well, let us eat Viennetta!