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Hooters Wants to Bring Down Your Cocktail Party With Its Own Line of Spirits

The breastaurant chain is distilling vodka, gin, rum, tequila, and whiskey

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So you’re throwing a nice li’l cocktail party but are unsure what alcohol to purchase to impress your guests? Well, Hooters is here to help: The breastaurant chain has released its own line of “premium” (their word) spirits.

Covering all its bases, Hooters is distilling its own vodka, gin, rum, tequila, and whiskey. At least one of those is very much a knock-off: “Hooters Heat Cinnamon Whiskey” seems suspiciously close to cinnamon-flavored Fireball. But Hooters can’t say that F-word, since it’s trademarked by a different company.

In its press release, Hooters is really trying hard to push the whole “premium” aspect, possibly to get around any pre-existing notions of the company as a crass cross-breed of objectification and mass-produced chicken wings. Per the press release, the gin is made with “only select natural botanicals and Juniper berries,” while the vodka is proudly billed as being made with corn, much like the rest of America’s favorite products, from Coca-Cola to Windex.

Hooters/Official

And surprisingly, there’s not even a boob in sight here. The spirits come in clear bottles adorned with a large rendering of Hooters’ possibly dead-inside animal mascot, the busty-eyed owl. (In case you hadn’t noticed, the Hooters owl is a truly sinister example of corporations meddling with the natural order, as it has breasts for eyes.)

The chain partly devised its own spirits to serve them in restaurants, presumably saving some money by keeping things in-house instead of purchasing other brands. But for those who want their family and friends to know that they’re hanging out with a real Hoot Head, the spirits will also be available for take-home purchase from “leading retailers”.

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