Brace for Grocery Store Meltdowns Over Toddler-Baiting ‘Baby Shark’ Cereal

“Baby Shark,” a song designed to drive toddlers into spasms of musical joy and parents of toddlers to drink, is such an earworm that it’s now permeated the grocery store. Like a dead-eyed, vicious fish swimming through an endless sea of algorithmically perfect brand partnerships, the viral song (and future TV show) will soon have its own children’s breakfast cereal.

Kellogg’s and song creator Pinkfong will introduce a sugar-loaded “Baby Shark” cereal to stores in August coinciding with Shark Week, the Discovery Channel’s juggernaut of carnivorous ocean predator content. The cartoon music video-themed chum for children features “berry-flavored loops and shark-shaped marshmallows,” according to Business Insider.

Grocery stores, particularly the candy bar-laden checkouts, are already designed to create so much want in children that their parents may, in some moments, fantasize about feeding their offspring to an actual shark. So let’s all give a big thaaaaanks to Kellogg’s for this end of summer gift that is sure to result in many a toddler’s grocery store meltdown. On the plus side, when a kid’s mouth is full of shark-shaped marshmallow cereal, there’s less time for singing “Baby Shark” (doo doo do doo do doo).

• You Can Now Buy Baby Shark Cereal Just in Time For Shark Week [BI]
• Baby Shark (Doo Doo Do Doo Do Doo), Explained [Vox]