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If You Didn’t Float on a Pretzel, Did Summer Even Happen?

Food-shaped pool floats aren’t going anywhere

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“Float city, bitch.”
Stephen Pelletteri

Summer 2015 was the Year of the Pool Float, when it seemed as if every pool, beach, and body of water had a kitschy novelty tube to go with it. Cut to 2019, and the trend doesn’t seem to be dying, as every year more and more ridiculous pool tubes keep floating onto the scene.

Inexplicably, so many of them seem to be food-shaped, from the taco to the popsicle to this year’s avocado (with a detachable “pit,” aka beach ball). Vaguely summery foods dominate, as do beverages. Case in point: a rosé bottle float.

Will it ever stop? So long as Instagram thirst trapping still exists, probably not. If you aren’t floating on a novelty tube on your social media accounts, did it even happen? Is it even worth spending the money on the tube to begin with if you don’t post it? Again, probably not — so if you’re so inclined, here are some products to feed your feed.

Classic Strawberry Donut Float: A hole lot of fun in the sun.

Eggplant Float: The newest float shape of summer 2019.

Red, White and Blue Popsicle Float: A summer classic borrowed from your childhood ice-cream truck memories.

Avocado Pool Float: Even though all that avocado toast means you probably can’t afford a house with a pool.

Pretzel Float: “Let’s twist again like we did last summer.”

Margarita Pool Float: This float even comes with a salted rim.

Rosé Float: Do we have enough rosé themed items yet?

Lollipop Float: Sucker for a good Insta post.

Everything Bagel Tube: This float is everything.

Pizza Slice Float: Slice up your life.

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