RIP ‘Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club,’ 2018-2019

Lindsay has retired her champagne gun and her TV show

If you were hoping to visit Lindsay Lohan’s beach club on the Greek island of Mykonos, well, you’d better get a time machine and warp back to the blissful summer of 2018, because after just one season, both the resort and MTV show that featured it are dead. Lohan’s club — which served 15 Euro ($17) “Lohan Coladas” — is reportedly looking rather abandoned, with the “Lohan” signage stripped off of it. The reality show that accompanied the venture — Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club — lasted just one season before its cancellation.

The club, basically a bar-slash-restaurant on a beach, was apparently opened with the MTV show in mind (Lohan already opened another two clubs in Greece before going on MTV). That reality show rated well in the beginning, but perhaps because it focused mostly on its American bar staff cast rather than Lohan (the main attraction), viewership quickly dropped off. That’s a shame, because despite the mindless low stakes drama of it all, the contestants actually went on to have valuable on-screen discussions about toxic masculinity, feminist solidarity and bisexual erasure. Do you see those debates happening on Game of Thrones? No, you don’t. So, bless you, Lindsay Lohan and your gaggle of hot, slightly problematic bartenders. You enriched our lives (or at least the lives of the seven people that followed the show to its end).

And in other news...

• Papa John’s — which has drawn a slew of bad press following ousted CEO John Schnatter’s racist remarks — is clearly trying to redeem itself by adding NBA star Shaquille O’Neal to its board of directors and making him a spokesperson for the pizza chain. [Restaurant Business Online]
• McDonald’s has launched a “Kansas City burger” in the UK, and it was apparently concocted by somebody who has never actually been to Kansas City. [KSHB]
• Gender-fluid tomatoes: they’re real! THANKS, LIBERALS. [NYT]
• Del Taco reports that its Beyond Meat tacos are among the best-selling items in the chain’s history, so it’s adding even more fake meat to the menu, in the form of a burrito. [EaterWire]
• There’s a new-ish app in Europe that lets food retailers list unsold food and sell it at a hefty discount, so as to avoid food waste. [AP]
• Here’s a deep-dive into the world’s first Garfield-themed restaurant. It’s located in Toronto, and Garfield creator Jim Davis even signed off on it, with the (perhaps telling) comment that “Nobody has ever come to me with such a crazy idea”. [Food & Wine]
• The latest piece of unexpected food-brand merchandise that actually seems somewhat cool is this pair of sneakers featuring Planters mascot Mr. Peanut, complete with monocle. [Nerdist]
• Keto-diet approved cereal is a real product that will cost you about $10 per box, looks like “shimmery space Cheerios”, and is apparently rather filling. [NY Mag]
• Finally, good morning to everybody except Paul Giamatti as seen from this terrifying angle. [Twitter]

• All AMI Coverage [E]