McDonald’s Saves You the 22-Hour Flight for Australian Cheesy Bacon Fries

In an act of wish fulfillment for globetrotting McDonald’s enthusiasts, the fast food giant is going full Epcot and bringing some of its international hits stateside.

According to Business Insider, McDonald’s is set to take four new menu items hailing from Spain, the Netherlands, Australia, and Canada national as it abandons its so-called Signature Crafted burgers this June.

The new, extremely safe list of international McDonald’s dishes includes a Grand McExtreme Bacon Burger with McBacon sauce, bacon, gouda cheese, and onions; a Stroopwafel McFlurry with vanilla soft-serve, caramel waffle cookies, and caramel sauce; a tomato mozzarella chicken sandwich with onions, lettuce, tomato, mozzarella, and tomato-herb sauce; and cheesy bacon fries. Yes, the revolution in American McDonald’s menus will begin with chicken sandwiches and bacon. Where are the McSpicy Paneer Burgers, hm? The McChocolate Potatoes? How hard is it to get this right? That Stroopwafel McFlurry, however, can and should stay both at restaurants and in my order.

Last week, McDonald’s confirmed it was abandoning fancy burgers in order to streamline its menu and refocus on marketing its fresh beef Quarter Pounder. These still-unconfirmed new items (the chain coyly responded “no comment” in Dutch to Business Insider... so, uh, geen commentaar) have been outlined in an internal McDonald’s document and are apparently expected to fill that void.

It’s the biggest step McDonald’s has taken towards democratizing its special international menu items thus far. Last year, the company rolled out a global menu at its Chicago-based headquarters and test lab with a menu that changes monthly. The international options sold out within hours of the location’s opening, demonstrating that the fast-food customer’s tastes for Australian cheesy bacon fries know no borders. The Golden Arches began testing several international items at 50 restaurants in south Florida last fall. The Grand McExtreme and Stroopwafel apparently made the cut for the national menu, while the far more intriguing Malaysian BBQ McShaker Fries (a menu item that provides diners with a seasoning packet and encourages them to shake-and-bake their fries) and Hong Kong McSpicy Chicken were left in the scrap pile. American test customers have clearly failed us. Please do better next time so that I can try BBQ McShaker Fries.

McDonald’s has long exported its hyper capitalist, fast-food culture outside the U.S., so it somehow makes sense that the company would one day — like the colonial villains of yore — return with the spoils of international conquests. At this point, why bother traveling at all? (Kidding, of course: There are plenty of other American fast-food chains to sample internationally.)

• Leaked Documents Show That McDonald’s Is Adding International Hits to Its American Menu [BI]
• McDonald’s HQ’s New Restaurant Features Food From Around the World [ECHI]
• All McDonald’s Coverage [E]