Every Single Possible Combination of Pasta You Can Make With Olive Garden’s Never Ending Pasta Pass

Great news for people that love nourishing their bodies with a limited range of carbs: Olive Garden will bring back its Never Ending Pasta Pass promotion today, granting lucky holders semi-unlimited access to bowls of pasta at any restaurant, for a fixed price. The passes go on sale at 2 p.m. EST, and not surprisingly, they’re expected to sell out — last year’s batch of passes sold out in literally one second. Update: This year’s Pasta Passes have indeed sold out.

And the stakes are even higher this year, with Olive Garden introducing a year-long pass: For $300, holders will be entitled to scarf down near-endless bowls of pseudo-Italian cream and tomato sauces with meatstuffs atop them. (Not valid in Puerto Rico, sharing not permitted, pass is non-transferable, dine-in only, tip not included, photo ID may be required, cannot be used on Christmas Day, pass does not include healthcare for pasta-related afflictions.)

Many Americans would tell you that capitalism is great because it offers the freedom to choose, and hoo boy, Olive Garden is delivering bowls full of freedom and refined Italian-style flour product with this pass. The Never Ending Pasta Pass™®© grants a selection of seven pastas (one gluten-free), six sauces, and six toppings — meaning there are 391 different pasta bowl combinations you can create within the parameters. That’s a different bowl of pasta for every single day of the year, and for 26 days of the year you can go to Olive Garden twice, and still not double up on a meal.

After all, variety is the spice of life, and what could be more varietious than a bowl of spaghetti with alfredo sauce and meatballs, followed by a bowl of spaghetti with alfredo sauce and Italian sausage the next day, and a bowl of spaghetti with alfredo sauce and grilled chicken the following day?

For the lucky 1,000 people who will score one of the annual pasta passes, here’s a handy list of every combination that you can create — and don’t despair, picky eaters, we’ve included the option of just eating a bowl of sauce with no pasta. Print it out and cross ‘em off as you drown yourself in breadsticks. Can’t decide if you want your gelatinous cream sauce topped with “crispy chicken fritta” or “crispy shrimp fritta”? Throw a dart at it! Or just frame it and put it on the wall as a shrine-like to-do list that might add some purpose to your life.

• Olive Garden’s New Year-Long Pasta Pass Offers 365 Days of Unlimited Fettuccine Alfredo [E]
• Olive Garden Introduces First-Of-Its Kind ‘Annual Pasta Pass’ That Extends Never Ending Pasta Benefits Year-Round [NewsWire]