As people all over the world continue to argue about the recent ousting of Sarah Huckabee Sanders from the Red Hen restaurant in Lexington, Virginia, late night funnyman Stephen Colbert offers a fresh perspective on the incident. For one thing, the Late Show host likes that the owner of the restaurant asked her staff to vote on whether or not to boot the White House press secretary from the dining room. “Oh good, someone’s getting due process, it’s heart-warming,” he says in this clip from last night’s Late Show.
The comedian also understands that this must’ve been a tough situation for Sanders. “Applaud all you want, buy my heart really goes out to her: She was separated from her appetizers,” Colbert quips. “She doesn’t even know where it is right now — what if it’s getting cold?”
And since the restaurant didn’t ask Sanders and her party to pay for their food before getting the old heave-ho, Colbert sees how Trump administration officials could learn from this lesson and use the situation to their advantage. “You know you’re going to get kicked out eventually, so go hog wild on the app round,” Colbert says. “‘Hi, we’ll have an order of jalapeño poppers, the hummus plate, the twice-baked potato skins, and the filet mignon as a starter. Oh you just recognized us? We’ll take that to go.’”
The late-night host additionally has a few suggestions for anyone who has to serve Sanders in the future. “Restaurant workers, you don’t have to kick out Sarah Huckabee Sanders, just treat her the same way she treats her customers.” he explains. “Only take the order of the two people at the table you like, then tell Sanders, ‘I’m not going to comment on whether this dish contains peanuts.’ And when the food never arrives, just say, ‘I haven’t talked to the chef about that yet, so I can’t give you any new information; I’ll be back at 2:45 p.m. tomorrow with a completely different menu that you can’t order from.”
Watch Colbert’s entire five-minute monologue about the Red Hen scandal in the clip above, and, as a bonus, here’s a look at what a safe restaurant for Trump administration officials might look like:
• The Late Show With Stephen Colbert [YouTube]
• Sarah Sanders is upset because a restaurant wouldn’t serve her. [Vox]
• Trump Officials Don’t Deserve Hospitality [E]
