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‘SNL’ Reveals What Happens When You Order Lobster at a Diner

A crustacean saga that channels “Les Miserables”

Stand-up comedian John Mulaney returned to his old stomping ground last night as the host of an SNL episode that included more than a few memorable moments, like this ridiculous sketch about what happens when you order lobster at at diner.

The story begins with two diner patrons, played by Pete Davidson and Chris Redd, placing their orders with the crass owner of the restaurant, portrayed by Mulaney. When Davidson’s character requests the lobster, his friend explains, “No one orders a lobster at a diner — the whole seafood section is there on the menu as a joke, man.” Still, the lobster fan sticks to his guns. “I don’t see what the big deal is, it’s on the menu,” he says. “I’ll have the damn lobster.” After locking down the order, Mulaney’s character screams, “Alright everyone, the time has come: We’ve got an order for one lobster.”

The light inside the diner changes and a giant tank is wheeled out into the dining room bearing one human-sized lobster — played by Kenan Thompson — dressed in French Revolution-era attire. “Who am I?” the lobster sings in a song reminiscent of a famous number from Les Miserables.“And why am I condemned to boil alive when all that I have done is live my life?” Mulaney’s character also joins the song, as Davidson tries not to laugh. “I thought that there was an unspoken rule that lobster in a diner’s never cool,” the crustacean croons. “A diner menu’s way too long, and half the menu’s fake or wrong.”

This touching tune doesn’t sway the customer, who still wants the lobster for his meal. But to further complicate things, the lobster-man’s daughter, Clawsette (played by Kate McKinnon), comes out and sings a song about offering her life up to the diner so that her father can live. Later, a bunch of people dressed in peasant garb enter the dining room to sing a rousing song about why ordering the lobster is the wrong move. Davidson’s character eventually caves. “Alright, forget the lobster,” he says. “I’ll have the veal instead.”

On Instagram, Mulaney explains that “Diner Lobster” was a sketch he wrote for the show eight years ago with current Weekend Update host Colin Jost, but it never made it on the air. The episode also included another (much less funny) restaurant-themed sketch about a “drag brunch” server who mocks the customers:

SNL [YouTube]