Starbucks, the coffee company that wants to be everything to everyone, just debuted a new limited-time-only product that’s extremely different from the blonde espresso beverages that it launched earlier this year, to great fanfare. The Crystal Ball Frappuccino is a creme-based beverage cut with peach flavoring and turquoise sprinkles. It’s topped with whipped cream and one of three candy garnishes. According to the book of Starbucks beverage lore, the green candies foretell good luck, while the blue sprinkles represent adventure, and the purple ones signify “magic.”
Pictures of the colorful new Crystal Ball Frappuccino started popping up on Instagram earlier this week, along with photos of signage announcing the drink. Boing Boing intercepted a packet of instructions on how to build this sugary concoction on Wednesday. But, as is often the case with product launches intended to set the viral internet aflame, Starbucks didn’t confirm or deny that this product existed until hours before its debut.
What do the Mystical Sparkles Mean? It remains to be seen. Something is Coming, on Thursday March, 22nd, come and have your fortune told with Our New Crystal Ball Frappuccino! Will you have Adventure, Magic, Or Luck? There's only one way to find out. [ #crystalball #magic #starbucks #starbucksfrappuccino #simpsonvillestarbucks #frappuccino #crystalballfrappuccino ]
It’s basically a riff on last year’s Unicorn Frappuccino, which also had a fruity base, colorful swirl, and candy-like coating. The popularity of that drink resulted in coast-to-coast barista meltdowns. Only time will tell if the Crystal Ball Frapp will reach the same level of viral infamy as its predecessor.
The peaches-and-cream-flavored Crystal Ball Frapp is on sale from now through Monday, March 26. Here’s how this new drink ranks on Eater’s Ridiculous Novelty Beverage Scale:
+ 5 points for adhering to a mystical concept. Will this drink make you see into the future? Perhaps.
+ 3 for capitalizing on the popularity of peaches, post Call Me By Your Name.
+ 2 points for launching around the same time as the Unicorn Frapp did last year. Spring is arguably the best time to enjoy novelty beverages.
+ 2 points for unintentionally channeling the hilarious Trump orb.
+ 1.3 points for the four-day limited release. Nobody likes a novelty drink that overstays its welcome.
— 3 points because this thing does not even sort of resemble a crystal ball. What about a spherical cup? What about a clear beverage base? What about some sort of glow-in-the-dark element, for eerie nighttime sipping?
— 2.6 points for throwing white chocolate — aka nobody’s favorite chocolate — into the mix.
— 2 points for looking kinda like last fall’s Christmas Tree Frapp.
— 1 point for being vaguely reminiscent of Crystal Pepsi, one of the greatest beverage flops of all time.
Official Eater Ridiculous Novelty Beverage rating: 5.7
• Build instructions for Starbucks’ new Crystal Ball Frappuccino [Boing Boing]
• Zombie Frappuccino Stumbles Into Starbucks Ready to Gobble Your Brains [E]
• Starbucks Christmas Tree Frappuccino Is a Yuletide Sugar Rush [E]
• Tim Hortons’s Newest Coffee Drink Tastes Like Buffalo Wings [E]
• Unicorn Frappuccino Will Fly Back to Cloud City Next Week [E]
Note: This post was originally published on March 20, and updated on March 22 to reflect new details about the beverage on its launch date.