The grain bowl-eating, reusable straw-carrying scourges of the earth known as millennials have something particularly dastardly up their sleeves this holiday season: trolling their poor parents by asking how to microwave their Thanksgiving turkeys.
The resulting text conversations, which typically include sage parental advice like “NOOOOOO,” “Please don’t do that,” and “You’re gonna die,” are popping up all over social media as Twitter users get a good chuckle at the expense of the Olds. And despite the fact that this seasonal pranking trend has been covered by numerous media outlets, parents — including hero chef José Andrés — are still falling for it.
Andrés tweeted a screenshot of his daughter (who is actually a member of Generation Z, proving that millennials are maybe not actually the worst generation?) texting him for advice on microwaving a 25-pound turkey, to which he responded in an appropriately horrified fashion for a world-renowned chef:
“Microwaves are the end of humankind!” Andrés exclaims, telling his daughter Carlota she’d be better off buying tofu and eating it cold. “Tu eres mi hija!” (“You are my daughter”) he says, reminding her of her esteemed culinary lineage. This cruel hoax must be stopped; it’s time we moved onto more mature holiday pursuits, such as asking the Butterball Turkey hotline if it’s okay to put glitter on a turkey.