This week, music and pizza lovers across this great nation were shocked to learn about Chuck E. Cheese’s plan to phase out the chain’s singing animatronic characters — but right now, nobody is feeling the hurt like the robots themselves. The gang appeared on Conan last night to sing a bitter send off song, that included some very unsavory details about life as the pizzeria/arcade’s house band. “I can barely feel the knife in my back,” croons Jasper T. Jowls, the guitar playing dog, who is on three antidepressants. His bandmate, Pasqually P. Pieplate, decided to sabotage the ball pit as a parting shot.
For the moment, you can still find these robots at most of the Chuck E Cheese’s locations across America, but their days are numbered. “Kids stopped watching the animatronic shows,” CEO Tom Leverton told Eater this week. “What we’ve seen over time with improvements in tech, with screens, and the expectations of kids today, the animatronics aren’t the main draw.”