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Fake Mike Pence Food Diary Is the Funniest Food Thing on the Internet Right Now

It includes “three loose handfuls of Cheerios”

Mayo photo: Chicago Tribune/Getty; Wonder Bread photo: Brendan Smialowski/Getty; Pence photo: Getty

An extremely clever person put together a fake website for Vice President Mike Pence that has a hilarious “what I ate” section chronicling five (fictional) days in the Veep’s life. Pence kicks off his week with “3 egg whites with mayonnaise vinaigrette” washed down with a corn smoothie, and he ends it with “3 slices of white bread,” a glass of whole milk, and an entire bottle of NyQuil. Judging by this fake food diary, Pence loves anything white and bland, so long as “mother” doesn’t forbid him from eating it.

According to the joke diary, Pence went on a McDonald’s hash brown bender on Wednesday, but the VP explains: “I don’t normally eat six hash browns for breakfast, but after finding out that my breakfast meeting was with a non-relative female, I had to abruptly cancel and head back to the White House for a briefing on Russia stuff.”

His other meals that day are equally absurd:

The rest of the website imagines what it would look like if Pence launched an official 2020 presidential campaign. Although some people initially thought this was a hack of his official homepage, it turns out that Pence’s real website simply redirects to Donald Trump’s landing page, and this is just a work of fiction.
What I Ate Today [Mike Pence]
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