It’s no secret that restaurants all over the world keep notes on their guests using POS systems like OpenTable — and sometimes, these messages offer juicy glimpses at the eccentricities and inflated egos of the people passing through these dining rooms. Case in point: This weekend, New Yorker writer Hannah Goldfield intercepted an accidental leak of a guest notes spreadsheet from an unnamed celebrity hot spot, and many of these notes are hilariously strange.
Soothing my anxiety by slowly savoring this spreadsheet of notes on customers that a restaurant accidentally attached to an email blast pic.twitter.com/X4oXBXPqpY— Hannah Goldfield (@hannahgoldfield) July 7, 2017
Here are a few takeaways from this epic Twitter thread:
• The spreadsheet included notes on VIPs like Ryan Seacrest, Fran Drescher, Gillian Anderson, “Meryl Streep’s nephew,” “Danielle Steele’s daughter,” and “Ricky (from Ricky’s).”
• In addition to notes about celebrities, the hosts also added some messages about people who are definitely not VIPs including: “He is a prod. asst (PA) on films. He thinks he is more important than he really is. The p.a. is the lowest rung on the production ladder.” Another note reads, simply, “jersey jersey jersey.”
• The crew at the restaurant had to call the cops on November 4 to chase down a guest who skipped out on a $2,000 bill for a 20-person dinner.
• One particularly pesky guest “likes to vape at the table” and add people to his party. This gentleman is typically late for his reservation and is “always a problem per Michael.”
• A handful of guests have “86” notes next to their names, to indicate that they are no longer welcome at the restaurant after offenses like tipping $11 on a $200 tab, ripping off part of a couch, and being a “huge F***KING B&^%%H.”
• Perhaps the best note of the entire thread: “We accommodated a last minute 12 top NO PRIX FIXE for Will Smith. And she lied, it was a bunch of random people and he did not come AND THEY WERE LATE.”
Goldfield remarks that this spreadsheet has over 30,000 notes on guests. The identity of the restaurant remains a mystery, but if you have any guesses — or any other great stories about POS notes concerning celebrities and/or wannabe VIPs — please share them in the comments of this post.