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Pizza Should Not Be Unicorned, Thank You

Plus, a Trader Joe’s ripoff unceremoniously shutters

  • Ugh “unicorn pizza” now exists. Didn’t everyone get the memo that “goth food” is the next big thing?
  • Pirate Joe’s, an unauthorized version of the Trader Joe’s grocery chain that imported the latter’s products to a Vancouver, BC storefront, has closed down. Its owner, Mike Hallatt, would purchase TJ products in bulk in the United States then schlep them over the border, charging inflated prices to Canadians desperate for access to Pumpkin Butter and frozen “Riced Cauliflower.”
  • New York City’s fine-dining stalwart Eleven Madison Park, the “World’s Best Restaurant” according to at least one list, has unveiled a new tableside coffee service. It’s priced between $25 to $45, making for some very fancy coffee.
  • Somebody in the Bay Area has taken to Craigslist to look for a Salt Bae lookalike.
  • NBA superstar LeBron James apparently talks a good wine game, so sommeliers weighed in on the bottles James has shared on Instagram. The takeaway: King James knows his wine.
  • Speaking of basketball, everyone in America can collect a free taco at Taco Bell next week, after James and his Cleveland Cavaliers lets the Golden State Warriors “steal” a road win yesterday during their NBA Finals series: