Very little work will be done today in offices and places of business across America, as the citizens of this great country tune in to the live broadcast of shitcanned FBI director James Comey’s Senate Intelligence Committee hearing about his old boss, President Donald Trump. Every single national TV network as well as scores of cable channels will be broadcasting the event today starting at 10 a.m., and a number of bars and restaurants across the country are opening early to screen the hearing.
Naturally, Washington D.C. is flush with eating and drinking establishments that are hosting special screenings of this must-see political-culture event. Union Pub, a bar near Capitol Hill, is offering a round of free Budweisers to patrons every time Trump tweets about the hearing — the bar staff is even prepared to hand out 20 rounds, if the POTUS fires off that many social media bombs today. General manager Ashley Saunders tells the Times: “I wouldn’t be surprised if people took half-days or take the day off... If I had a normal job, I don’t know what I’d be doing.” Eater D.C. also notes that another nearby bar called Shaw’s Tavern is hosting a “Comey Hearing Covfefe” event with an “FBI breakfast” — French toast, bacon, and ice cream.
Last night, Conan O’Brien and his crew imagined what a Comey Thursday viewing party might look like at Buffalo Wild Wings — the bar would be pouring “Mai Tai’s to Russia” as well as “Collusion With Russia Moscow Mules.” Watch it here: