Conspiracy Theory: Lorde Is an Anonymous Onion Ring Critic

A New Zealand journalist just formulated what may be the greatest snack-related conspiracy theory of our time: Overwhelming evidence suggests that pop megastar Lorde is behind an anonymous Instagram account dedicated to reviews of onions rings around the world. As soon as NewsHub’s Anna Bracewell-Worrall reached out to Lorde’s management about this curious discovery, the account was mysteriously deleted. Team Lorde has not confirmed or denied the singer’s involvement with @onionringsworldswide, but the facts speak for themselves.

Exhibit A: According to the caption on the second of four onion rings picks, the fried treat was consumed “on a plane from Tennessee to New York.” The pic was shared right after Lorde, who lives in New York, finished up her set at the Bonnaroo Festival in Manchester, Tennessee.

Exhibit B: The account was only being followed by 24 people, including Lorde and several of her friends — and yet, the user was not following any other Instagram accounts. Anyone who’s launched a joke or throwaway Instagram knows that the best way to keep it a secret (without making it private) is to send the handle to all your pals and avoid following anyone else’s page.

Exhibit C: One of the photos shows a finger with tightly cropped fingernails grabbing one of the rings. Apparently, according to one Lorde superfan, the pop star always keeps her nails super short, just like the one in this pic.

Exhibit D: A review of the ring from Bareburger in NYC notes a “good flavour on the crumb.” This is, of course, how someone from New Zealand would spell “flavor.” Barcewell-Worral also notes that a few other passages sound sound “vaugely Lorde-ish,” like the note about how one ring was “eaten ceremoniously on charter plane from Tennessee to New York,” and the bio: “Every onion ring I encounter, rated.”

Stay tuned for more updates on Lorde’s covert onion ring review outlet as they become available. The truth is out there.

• Is this Lorde's secret onion ring Instagram account? [NewsHub]
• All Eater IDK Coverage [E]