Like a jilted lover who so desperately wants you back, Chipotle is trying to spread the word about some very big recent changes it’s made that might not be apparent from the outside. In particular, Steve Ells and co. spent two years working on a new tortilla that has only five ingredients: flour, water, salt, oil, and yeast. And now, the beleaguered chain decided to launch this forward-thinking product with a perplexingly retro mascot. Say hello to Torti, an anthropomorphized tortilla (he’s a wrapper, get it???) with a backwards baseball cap and a gold chain who drops verses about how he is not full of phony-baloney ingredients:
Torti may appear to be a Chipotle marketing tool, but really he’s the lovechild of M.C. Skat Kat and the Kool-Aid Man, if he were raised by Poochie and learned to rap from Urkel. A sample rhyme: “To roll with our crew you’ve got to lose your preservatives / so forget your shortcuts and cheap alternatives!”
Like the Whopper toothpaste, there’s more than a slight chance that this is the brand’s attempt at an early April Fool’s joke. We hope.