Further proof that Starbucks is where hipster food trends go to die: The Frappuccino-slinging coffee chain has now fallen victim to the ubiquitous avocado toast trend.
But as Starbucks is a global corporate behemoth and not your local cafe, baristas will (understandably) not be slicing open fresh avocados in between pulling espresso shots. Instead, stores nationwide are now selling plastic pods of “Organic Avocado Spread,” a.k.a. pre-packaged guacamole, which patrons can slather on their bagel or breakfast sandwich. (Just keep it away from the marble pound cake.)
Preternaturally green in color, the spread contains “fresh, organic Hass avocados, sea salt, onion, garlic, jalapeño pepper, and lime juice” and will presumably taste like any other pre-made, packaged guac, which is to say not particularly fresh. One can hardly blame the company for giving people what they want, though, even if what they want is apparently subpar avocado toast. The good news is the spread is only about a dollar, as opposed to the $8-to-$12 versions that have dominated Instagram feeds in recent years.
Other new Starbucks food items being added for spring include cake pops inexplicably shaped like parrots, and a gluten-free breakfast sandwich aimed at the celiac demographic that’s been “sealed into its own oven-safe parchment bag to avoid any cross-contamination.”