Sartre famously said “Hell is other people,” but that’s only because he never came face-to-face with Outback Steakhouse’s new and terrifyingly xxxtreme Bloomin’ Onion. After introducing a version of the fried onion blossom inexplicably garnished with a mound of cheese fries last year, the suburban strip mall stalwart decided to take one step further into culinary depravity by crowning it with “center-cut sirloin steak bites.”
Dubbed the “3 Point Bloomin’ Onion,” it’s apparently being served in honor of March Madness, which makes sense considering it could likely subdue an entire college basketball team into a sodium-laden food coma.
And despite being touted as Aussie cuisine, Eater’s resident Australians say that actually encountering such a monstrosity Down Under is about as likely as seeing a koala in a Crocodile Dundee hat wrangling a kangaroo. “Most Australians have never heard of a Bloomin’ Onion, much less fried one up,” senior social media manager Adam Moussa clarifies. Further, he says “cheese fries are what you get at American places in Sydney,” and are not part of a typical Australian diet.