Carnivorous Internet Mob Wary of Vegetarian Oppression

In the dystopian future, when hippie vegetarian overlords outlaw our beloved hamburgers, this petition will be to blame. At least, that’s what will happen if you believe an angry contingent of social media users. Someone has asked California-based In-N-Out to add a veggie burger to its menu, and goodness gracious, people are upset.

Emily Byrd, communications manager for the vegetarian-focused Good Food Institute, had the bright idea to create an Change.org petition that requests a meatless option at In-N-Out. "As a company that prides itself on both customer satisfaction and ethical business practices, adding a meat-free option is a no-brainer," Byrd wrote. Apparently a lot of people agree, because the petition has garnered more than 35,000 signatures in two weeks.

But, as Byrd explains in an op-ed for the Los Angeles Times, not everyone is fond of the idea. In fact, some believe this could bring about the destruction of America as we know it.

"There were actually some arguments among the expletives," Byrd wrote for the Times. "One of the more common suggestions was that having a veggie burger at a fast food restaurant is 'like asking a steakhouse to offer something besides steak.' I have yet to see this steakhouse that serves nothing but steak, but I suppose if one exists, it would probably turn a higher profit by diversifying the menu a bit. Veggie burgers are already quite popular at classic chains such as Burger King, Johnny Rockets, Denny’s, Ruby Tuesday, and White Castle."

What sort of backlash is Byrd’s idea receiving? Well:

In addition to the individuals screaming into the social media void, Byrd says plenty of negative comments have been aimed specifically at her. "When I opened Facebook, I found a message directing me to eat a very sensitive part of the male anatomy between two slices of bread and expressing the fervent hope that I would soon get run over," she wrote for the Times. "That was one of dozens of vile Facebook screeds calling me: un-American, a fascist, a moron, delusional, an imbecile, fanatical, disgusting, disgraceful, a control freak sociopath, and the worst part of the human race."

It seems like people might be overreacting! Byrd tried to make the point that, even if In-N-Out serves a proper veggie burger (this is currently the chain’s comical take), beef-loving patrons will still be able to order their double-doubles animal style. However, the internet's boisterous truth-seekers will not be fooled. Stay woke, sheeple.

Perhaps, though, there’s a bigger truth here. Perhaps this vast vegetarian conspiracy isn’t the most shocking development to be revealed.

Wow.

• Will adding a veggie burger to the In-N-Out menu destroy the country? [LAT]

• Put a veggie burger on the menu at In-N-Out! [Change.org]

• All Scandals and Feuds [E]