Chipotle's Rewards Program Needs Help; S'mores Pie Zen

Today is the day burrito-lovers everywhere have been waiting for: CHIPTOPIA IS HERE. I like burrito bowls as much as the next human and I will admit to harboring some love for Chipotle's in particular, but I have a question: Why are you making it so damn hard for me to reach burrito nirvana, Chipotle? By my calculations, if I want to reach Hot status in the paradise known as Chiptopia (seriously, why this name, though? It sounds like some kind of paradise full of chips?), I will have to consume 33 burritos over the course of three months. That's roughly three visits to Chipotle per week. If I manage this, I will be rewarded with even more burritos: nine free entrees and catering for 20, to be exact (you can get a free apron if you go just 24 times over the course of three months). My boyfriend, who freely admits to going to Chipotle more often in the wake of their food safety scandal ("sorry, not sorry," he says) already visits the chain at what I would consider to be a pretty astounding rate. Even he, who hasn't gone a week without eating there in probably the last four years, admits that three times a week is going to be a challenge. It's one he is more than willing to face, though. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a very fancy, catered-by-Chipotle party to plan for — three months from now.

Today in food news:

— In other Chipotle news: One of Chipotle's highest-paid executives was indicted as part of a cocaine bust.Chipotle's ace spokesperson Chris Arnold told Business Insider: "At the moment, we know very little about these charges. Due to the nature of the situation, Mark has been placed on administrative leave. We made this decision in order to remain focused on the operation of our business, and to allow Mark to focus on these personal matters. Mark's responsibilities have been assigned to other senior managers in his absence."

— Ruby Tuesday, the restaurant chain proud of its "large portions and serious salad bar" has partnered with Tesla to install charging stations at some of its 729 locations across the U.S. This is a boon for Tesla drivers who also love Honey Bourbon Chicken, Petite Sirloin and Hand-Breaded Shrimp, Baked Ravioli, and Triple Cheeseburgers.

— Is this sheep the new Wagyu?

— Diner server stories are the best:

"It was a Sunday morning, and I was probably a little overtired. It was super busy, and I had a table of nine, so I put nine tall glasses of water on a tray and I walked over to the table. As I was going to put down the glasses, I cracked a joke, ‘Who's ready for the wet t-shirt contest?' But, karma, because I proceeded to drop all nine glasses full of water onto one customer. She looked like she just came out of a pool.

— Gordon Ramsay made Heathrow Airport a 70th birthday cake and it's got airplanes made out of eclairs on it (!).

— Finally, here's some S'more pie zen: