Sorry folks. Everything you thought you knew about Astronaut Ice Cream’s singular trip to space is a lie. As the Apollo 7 crew’s last surviving astronaut Walt Cunningham told Vox in February, "We never had that stuff." Cunningham’s recollections also match mission transcripts and even famed Canadian space oddity Chris Hadfield has said that the crumbly freeze-dried dessert would be a low-gravity safety hazard.
Enter The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Like any space fan or one time visitor to a science museum gift shop, the host is completely crushed by the news that his favorite "brick of sweetened sidewalk chalk" is a fraud. "It's never been for astronauts. Sure as hell has never been ice cream. So I hope you had a good childhood because it's over now," he tells the audience.
Fortunately for us, the Colbert refuses to "to live in a world where Astronaut Ice Cream is a lie." Watch in the clip above as the host uses the "the most advanced technology known to man" (a balloon and a guy in an astronaut costume) to send the a package of Astronaut Ice Cream on its maiden voyage to the the final frontier.