Chrissy Teigen's Fast Food Baby Shower; Donald Trump's Cookbook

Happy Monday, America. This week food writer John Mariani got on a soapbox to lecture the youth of food media. His lede: "It is tempting to call the hipster food media that now occupy desks at the NY Times, New York Magazine, Bon Appetit, and Eater.com pathetic when they go ga-ga over what they proclaim to be unique restaurants of a kind that NYC has never before seen." Mariani then tells the misinformed hipster food media to go read his book. In other news, Chrissy Teigen had Taco Bell at her most recent baby shower, Donald Trump's cookbook is full of gems, Ben & Jerry's announces this year's free cone day, and more.

— Today in celebrity news: Kim Kardashian hosted a baby shower for Chrissy Teigen and served fast food, including McDonald's breakfast, Wendy's frosties, and unidentified items from Taco Bell.

— Mark your calendars: Ben & Jerry's free cone day is April 12.

— Lucky Peach, bless its heart, takes a close look at Donald Trump's (faux) cookbook The Art of the Meal and finds some real gems, including this excerpt from a chapter called "Ancient Tree": "I usually eat an ancient tree every few years, give or take. Yeah, just about. My father left me with a modest amount of ancient trees, that were actually given to him by a group of ancient forest dwellers. They were not exactly human, but not exactly elves either. Great people. Great people. I have a guy who once staged at Noma prepare them for me now. This guy is one of the greats, everybody agrees. The ancient power and flavors that he's able to extract from the tree, honestly, it's... ridiculous. Do you like me??"

— The NYC-based restaurant Anthony Bourdain made famous, Les Halles, has closed its doors after 25 years in business, reports Eater NY.

— Today in early April Fool's jokes: The Dogington Post recently announced a new partnership with Starbucks called Starbarks, a new store model targeted at dog owners which features an adoption wall (anyone who rescues a dog featured in a Starbarks store "will receive a card entitling the bearer to free refreshments — for the dog and human — for an entire year") and drinks and snacks on the menu suitable for humans and dogs (including "Grandma's Chicken Soup [which is made with] 100% human grade broth). 10 percent of store profits will go to animal rescue efforts. If only this was a real thing.

— The Founder, the forthcoming film about McDonald's rise to fast food dominance at the hands of visionary Ray Kroc, has released poster art depicting actor Michael Keaton (set to play Kroc) in the crux of the golden arches:

Eater Video: Donald Trump's family dumplings