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Super Bowl 50 Food Commercials, Ranked

The cute, the funny, and the just plain weird.

Super Bowl 50 went down in San Francisco yesterday and the Denver Broncos emerged victorious — but more importantly, there was Beyoncé and a plethora of food commercials. Nabbing airtime during one of the year's most-watched television events can command as much as $5 million for just 30 seconds, so it's expected that companies put up their most clever material during the annual sports extravaganza. Here's our decidedly unofficial (and yet, totally definitive) ranking of the food-related spots that aired during the game.

1) Heinz's Wiener Dogs

What's not to love about an army of dachshunds in hot dog costumes? A very smart play from America's most iconic condiment company. 

2) Doritos Dogs

Further proving that a few cute dogs in costume go a long way toward making a great ad is this spot from Doritos, which was the winner of its fan-submitted commercial contest:

3) Doritos Ultrasound

That wasn't the only solid ad from Doritos: There was also this rather bizarre take on a pregnant woman's ultrasound and a hungry baby, a finalist in the fan-submitted ad contest:

4) Avocados in Space

A very clever avocado ad hearkened back to the most annoying meme of 2015, that damn blue and black (or was it gold and white) dress:

5) Budweiser's Helen Mirren PSA

Beer giant Budweiser wisely enlisted the assistance of Dame Helen Mirren, "a notoriously frank and insensitive British lady," to discourage drinking and driving:

6) KFC's New Colonel

KFC's Super Bowl ad unveiled the newest Colonel Sanders, Jim Gaffigan, as well as the company's new Nashville-style hot chicken:

7) Snickers Supposedly Cures Hanger

A new Snickers commercial featured a hangry Marilyn Monroe that looks an awfully lot like Willem Dafoe:

8) Death Wish Coffee

Death Wish Coffee, which claims to be "the world's strongest coffee," won a contest through QuickBooks to snag this high-dollar ad spot — and they certainly get points for production value:

9) Butterfinger Cowboy

What exactly a cowboy jumping out of a plane has to do with Butterfingers is really anyone's guess:

10) Taco Bell's "Big Reveal"

Behold the Quesalupa.

11) Budweiser's Other Ad

Budweiser's second ad did not feature Helen Mirren but rather some band bros spraying beer on each other, and was therefore decidedly less entertaining:

12) White Castle's Crave Menu

The new ad for the slider slinger oddly hasn't been posted online yet. But don't worry, you're not missing much — much like the chain's recent tweets, it made little sense.

13) McDonald's All-Day Breakfast

Bringing up the rear is McDonald's, which eschewed any attempt at humor in favor of an annoying attempt at a heartfelt ad for all-day breakfast:

14) Mtn. Dew

What is this even. Please do not meme it, Internet.