Beyoncé released a new music video this weekend — surprise! — and announced a new world tour during the Super Bowl on Sunday, and pretty much the only lyric immediately understandable on a first listen has to do with carrying hot sauce in a bag — "I got hot sauce in my bag, swag." — which is awesome, but also please 'cue the jokes:
"Hot sauce has never been anywhere near my bag." —Chris Martin— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) February 8, 2016
Nice one, Southwest Airlines:
Other food-related lyrics from the song include: "I like cornbreads and collard greens, bitch. Oh yes, you best to believe it." "Sippin' Cuervo with no chaser." "When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay."
— Related: This classic SNL sketch:
— Today in consumer news: Starbucks released a trio of new beverages for Valentine's Day and, for inspiration, the coffee giant looked to one of the most popular desserts of our time: The molten chocolate cake. Love molten chocolate cake or hate molten chocolate cake — either way it's as much a part of American dessert culture as pie and cupcakes. Starbucks' Molten Chocolate Latte (available hot or iced), Molten Chocolate Frappuccino, and Molten Hot Chocolate (which is different from its regular hot chocolate because it also contains espresso and espresso-infused whipped cream) are available beginning today and through February 14.
— In other Starbucks news, the NY Post reports the coffee giant plans to open a massive "15,000 to 25,000 square foot" coffee roasting and store facility in the style of Eataly somewhere in NYC sometime in the next few years.
— Reminder: Chipotle restaurants will not open until 3 p.m. (local time) today because of a mandatory employee training session regarding the company's recent public health disaster. It's been explained to the press as an information session as well as a training session.
— Two California fugitives who escaped from a prison in January and were accused of violent crimes were ultimately captured inside a Whole Foods parking lot in San Francisco after an argument. There are jokes to be made, perhaps, but let's instead just remember this viral video from 2011: