Christmas and Hanukkah are both merely days away, and since 2016 has been utterly crap, you’d best step up the gift-giving this year. Whether you have yet to begin shopping at all or just need to fill in a few gaps on your list, here are 11 fairly ridiculous gifts for the food lovers in your life — from bizarro-flavored candy canes and fast food jewelry to boozy lipstick and personalized bananas. Whether stuffed into a stocking or wrapped up with McRib wrapping paper, all will surely delight/baffle/amuse.
Sriracha Candy Canes
Taco Bell Jewelry
Yes, Taco Bell is making jewelry now. Particularly alluring is this two-ring set ($25) that displays the wearer’s love of pseudo-Mexican fast food. Keep one for yourself and give the other to your BFF, with whom you have shared many a late-night Taco Bell drive-thru run.
A Trump Potato
It’s understandably tempting to gift the annoying cousin who wouldn’t shut up about politics at Thanksgiving a lump of coal. Instead, why not ship them a potato emblazoned with Donald Trump’s face?
For the junk food enthusiast who’s also really into posting selfies, look no further than Cheetos-branded bronzer. Cheesy orange dust smudged on your face never looked so good.
Fried Chicken iPhone Case
Who on your shopping list would want an iPhone case adorned with a hyper-realistic fried chicken drumstick? A better question might be who wouldn’t?
Whether you love or hate the way a glass of cabernet stains your lips purple, now you can replicate it with these lipsticks that look like bottles of wine. Perfect for the person on your list who enjoys downing a bottle of pinot while binge-watching YouTube makeup tutorials.
For the stoner in your life, a box of deep-fried Twinkies will satiate even the most absurd late-night junk food craving — conveniently available in your grocer’s freezer section, no vat of boiling oil required.
For the friend who has a Chihuahua with a wardrobe bigger than their own, a bottle of highly unnecessary dog wine should do the trick. Also available for felines, the “wine” is, of course, non-alcoholic.
This wearable pizza pouch is like the dumb wine glass lanyards frequently spotted on food festival attendees, except, uh, for pizza. Enabling the wearer to conveniently hang a slice around their neck while leaving their hands free for other activities, your dad would love to embarrass you by wearing this.
Tea drinkers who travel frequently will be either delighted or horrified by aerosol tea, which eliminates the need for messy teabags altogether. Hell, the truly lazy can just spray it directly into their mouths.
A Hand-Decorated Banana
A piece of custom art would make a fantastic holiday gift, but who can really afford an original painting? Instead, give a personalized, hand-decorated banana, which can be had for a mere $9.99. Googly eyes, hats, Donald Trump-style hair — the sky’s the limit.