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Starbucks Conspiracy Theory Suggests Baristas Spell Your Name Wrong on Purpose

Genius marketing scheme or genuinely hapless employees?

Starbucks cup with “Kaitlyn” written on it
That’s now how you spell Caitlyn
Brenna Houck is a Cities Manager for the Eater network. She previously edited Eater Detroit and reported for Eater. You can follow her on the internet at @brennahouck.

Anyone who pays regular visits to Starbucks has likely had their name misspelled on the side of the cup at least once. It’s practically a rite of passage to experience that awkward moment at the counter, standing among other patrons and trying to decipher whether the drink that might be yours is in fact yours — or someone else’s with a name and coffee tastes similar to yours. (Hey, it even happens to celebrities.)

Now there’s a conspiracy theory to explain this phenomenon, and it’s a heck of a lot more convincing than PizzaGate: What if Starbucks baristas were conspiring to misspell customers’ names on purpose? It might be the greatest free advertising scheme of all time.

“Think about it,” the video explains, “Starbucks is the largest coffee chain in the world. Meaning that each year, millions of people all around the globe have their names misspelled on cups of Starbucks coffee. They take pictures of their butchered names and post them on Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, wherever. And what do all these pictures have in common? Two things, a misspelled name, and that familiar green Siren, staring at you with her all-knowing gaze.” Friends see the posts, go to Starbucks, take a photo, and “thereby perpetuate this frothy cycle of control.”

Perhaps this wild theory is actually onto something. It would explain why so many celebrities — Caitlyn Jenner, Dwyane Wade, Chandler Parsons, Jodie Foster Helen Hunt — get their names sent through the Starbucks shredder. Perhaps Starbucks baristas are actually putting that botched name generator to use behind the bar. Of course, it could just be that your barista is fucking with you.

Starbucks Is Misspelling Your Name On Purpose [YouTube]
Watch a Comedian Explain 'Why Starbucks Spells Your Name Wrong' [E]
Have a Starbucks Experience at Home With this Botched Name Generator [E]

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