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Who Is Jacques La Merde? Instagram's Most Soigné Chef to Be Unveiled

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All will soon be revealed.

""DYNAMITE HOT* STAGG CHILI IN AN OLD EL PASO TORTILLA BOWL, VELVEETA SLICE BITS, ROMAINE PLANTS, TINY ONIONS, CHIHUAHUA BITS AND SEA BEANS!!!!! PLATED ON A LARGE CROSS SECTION OF WOOD I BOUGHT AT BARNES AND NOBLE FOR HEIGHTENED AESTHETIC IMPACTS!!!"
""DYNAMITE HOT* STAGG CHILI IN AN OLD EL PASO TORTILLA BOWL, VELVEETA SLICE BITS, ROMAINE PLANTS, TINY ONIONS, CHIHUAHUA BITS AND SEA BEANS!!!!! PLATED ON A LARGE CROSS SECTION OF WOOD I BOUGHT AT BARNES AND NOBLE FOR HEIGHTENED AESTHETIC IMPACTS!!!"
Chef Jacques Le Merde

Most Instagram stars get famous for being exceptionally good-looking and well-dressed (pets included). But one current social media sensation has risen to stardom without ever showing their face online: The satirical Instagrammer of populist haute cuisine known simply as @jacqueslamerde, whose true identity will be revealed this Thursday.

The anonymous chef's Instagram bio reads "small portions | tweezered everything," and the stunning plates are composed with utterly insane combinations of low-brow junk food ingredients and high-end techniques. One recent dish included "I Can't Believe It's Not (brown) Butter" sous-vide octopus, crinkle-cut hot dogs, gingerbread soil, Miracle Whip dots, and a quenelle of potatoes "MADE BY TENDERLY MIXIN 2GETHER POTATO BUDS, HALF AND HALF AND SOME CAMPBELLS CREAMY BUTTERNUT SOUP!!!!!"

La Merde cites inspiration from the very chefs he pokes fun at, such as René Redzepi; his use of hashtags is unparalleled, with favorites including #negativespace, #uppernextlevel, and #soigné.

But who is Chef Jacques La Merde really? In an April 2015 interview with First We Feast, the the anonymous chef — whose last name taken quite literally is "The Shit" — would say only this: "BRO I AM THE NITROUS IN UR ISI CANNISTER. I AM THE LECITHIN IN UR ESPUMA. I AM THE SPECIAL LITTLE TICK MARK ON TOP OF THE E IN SOIGNÉ !!! I AM THE SPIRIT OF NEXT LEVEL THAT IS IN US ALL !!!"

La Merde's true identity will finally be unveiled on this Thursday night's episode of Top Chef — and be sure to scope out Eater for an exclusive interview with the newly-revealed producer of Instagram's most soigné cuisine. For those in the Boston area, La Merde will hit Puritan & Co. on Saturday night to present "The Most Soigné Dinner Ever." Tickets are $127.59 each, a seemingly small price to pay to feast on mind-blowing creations like purple Go-gurt crema and Tostitos salsa con queso fluid gel.

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