Jeb Bush might not win the presidential election, but he has already won "worst political swag of all time in the history of everything ever." While fellow White House hopeful Hillary Clinton is serving up enormous heaps of puns and fun in the form of her "Grillary Clinton" line of cookout accessories ("Chillary Clinton" koozie anyone?), Bush favors boring, and weirdly pricey, dad humor. He is selling a "Guaca Bowle" — pronounced guaca-bowl-e, a bowl to make well, guacamole, in — for a mere $75, or enough money to buy guacamole ingredients for a year if you use a regular bowl like most plebs.
Perhaps what is most striking about the Guaca Bowle is Bush's brazenness in renaming a molcajete — a tool that has been used by cooks for thousands of years — with such a lame pun, and then charging an exorbitant amount for it even though it comes without the traditional pestle. Best of all, it doesn't even look like its branded, which means people will not be able to see just how obnoxious you are, thus defeating the purpose of buying a $75 single-purpose bowl anyway.
Bush's website reveals that Jeb and his wife love "whipping up guacamole on Sunday Funday" — though its unlikely that even he uses his ridiculous Guaca Bowle — and that his "secret" guacamole recipe is not included "...yet." One thing is for certain: His recipe most definitely does not contain peas. But is it better than Jack White's?