Police in Michigan are currently investigating the theft of 28,000 pounds of packaged nuts. The thief (or thieves) robbed a truck and trailer of "18 pallets of walnuts and other snack nuts," estimated to be worth more than $128,000. (Perhaps the robbers are trying to beat this prestigious world record.) They reached out to the community for help and posted a mug shot of a squirrel on Facebook, along with information about the case.
Squirrel Is Primary Suspect in Massive Nut Theft
No, this is not an Onion article.