— Displaced Food Network host Paula Deen might be getting a divorce, y'all. Deen reportedly just signed the deed on a million-dollar house — the very same one where most of her cooking shows were filmed — over to husband Michael Groover, and if the gossip mill is to be believed, it's because the two are splitting up after 11 years of marriage.
— Anthony Bourdain could probably kick your ass. The jetsetting TV host participated in a jiu jitsu class Wednesday morning in Chicago in advance of the last show on his "Close to the Bone" speaking tour, as he is wont to do. He may need those martial arts skills to defend himself after declaring the city's beloved deep-dish "an abomination."
— The NFL's third highest-paying linebacker lives in a two-bedroom apartment with a roommate, but it's totally cool because there's a Chipotle downstairs. How many burritos can $57.5 million buy, anyway?
— Could the $15 minimum wage hike make it harder for teenagers to find jobs? Buffalo Wild Wings CEO Sally Smith says her company "may not want to hire teens for $15 an hour because that's too much to pay for an inexperienced worker." Kids with wing-slinging dreams may want to reconsider their career trajectories.
— Actress Christina Applegate impressively pounds an entire pitcher of beer in her new movie Vacation, but tragically, said beer was not real; as she revealed last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, it was merely CGI. Nevertheless, her former TV dad Al Bundy would probably be proud.
— Late-night host Jimmy Fallon prides himself on tagging and classifying the many facial expressions of Barack Obama. In addition to the classics like "Seriously, Bro?", Fallon has now identified the President's jubliant "I Smell Cookies!" face, and his toasting-with-a-beer "It's 2017 Somewhere!" expression.