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Watch Nick Offerman Hang Out on a Pizza Farm

The farm also has a taquito orchard.

Here is comedian Nick Offerman poking fun at the atrocious and unhealthy state of American school cafeteria lunches. Offerman plays a "food expert" named Daniel Frances who wants lawmakers to give kids "the healthy futures they deserve." He visits a pizza farm — not the trendy kind — but one that grows "the ripe, juicy pizzas your kids love" on trees. The farm also has "orchards of taquito trees soaking up the minerals and vitamins from the sun before we pick them and deliver them straight to those school lunch trays." Perhaps most impressive/disgusting are the farm's fields that produce "hot, moist sloppy joes" year-round, in part due to the "nutrients in the cola we use to water them." Jamie Oliver has nothing to worry about.