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Someone Wants Cracker Barrel to Change Its Name Because He Finds It 'Offensive'

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"Everyone knows crackers don't come in barrels, they come in bags and boxes!"

Someone who doesn't quite understand racial inequality has launched a petition to convince roadside comfort food chain and vendor of Duck Dynasty merchandise Cracker Barrel to change its name. According to the petition started by Ryan Koch from Iowa, he finds the use of "Cracker" to be an "offensive slur." Urban Dictionary defines the term as following: "Slang word used to refer to those of European ancestry. The word is thought to have either derived from the sound of a whip being cracked by slave owners, or because crackers are generally white in color." It is typically used to describe someone as very white.

Koch is all "European Americans to start protesting C****er Barrel" because it mocks their "long and proud heritage" — a heritage that may include the ownership of slaves. Koch further takes issue with the chain's logo, which features a man sitting on a chair next to a barrel. He alleges that it "stereotypes European Americans as people who sit on chairs and lean against what appears to be a bourbon barrel, claiming we are all a bunch of alcoholics." Sure.

Perhaps his greatest, most intelligent argument is that "everyone knows crackers don't come in barrels, they come in bags and boxes!" Koch suggests that the restaurant change its name to Caucasian Barrel because "white people should have something to be offended by, too." (*Insert eye roll.*) Somehow the petition actually has signatures — 1,991 so far. Though, based on how ridiculous it is, this could all be one big joke.