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Why You Should Never Cut a Watermelon With a Giant Sword

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"He is completely sober."

Meet Ali, the anthesis of this real life fruit ninja. YouTube user Kirstin C. uploaded a video of her friend attempting to cut a watermelon with a gigantic, sharp scimitar. Even though he's "completely sober," Ali manages to miss the watermelon magnificently, instead completely shattering the glass table it's resting on. Is he wielding such a big sword to compensate for his inability to actually cut fruit?

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