Meet Ali, the anthesis of this real life fruit ninja. YouTube user Kirstin C. uploaded a video of her friend attempting to cut a watermelon with a gigantic, sharp scimitar. Even though he's "completely sober," Ali manages to miss the watermelon magnificently, instead completely shattering the glass table it's resting on. Is he wielding such a big sword to compensate for his inability to actually cut fruit?
"He is completely sober."