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Gwyneth Paltrow Is Launching a Joyless New Health Food Line

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It includes healthy frosting shots and kale.

Jerome Favre/Getty Images

The queen of kale and aspirational living Gwyneth Paltrow is launching a Goop-y food take-out company. According to the Cut, Paltrow created the company with fellow veganaise lover-in-arms, personal trainer Tracy Anderson. Called 3 Green Hearts (the third green heart belongs to Maria Baum, the CEO of Tracy Anderson's company), the company will offer ultra healthy fare like juice, quinoa, and kale ravioli of course.

And because Anderson is a "major foodie" there will also be "frosting shots," except they sound like they are made from nothing fun. Anderson explains to Hamptons Magazine: " The frosting is going to be made without all of the processed things that really hurt us." She adds that there will also be a range of cookies "that have no gluten, no soy, no dairy, no nuts, [and] no eggs." So they are essentially made of air and the tears of disappointed children.

3 Green Hearts' products will be available at Anderson's studios in New York in the near future. Placing bets now that the next issue of lifestyle diva — and noted Paltrow critic — Martha Stewart's magazine will feature a spread on frosting shots.

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