Bud Light Invented MIXXTAILS, the Cocktail-Flavored Beer Line Nobody Wants

Bud Light — the soulmate of frat bros everywhere — has taken it upon itself to create a line of bottled cocktail-inspired beers the world never needed. The Wall Street Journal writes that the drinks are made like beer but are "flavored to taste like a cocktail." According to a press release, Bud Light's new drinks are based on "America's favorite cocktail flavors" which are apparently "Long Island, Firewalker, and Hurricane." To compliment the obnoxious flavors, Bud Light decided to give the beverage line an equally obnoxious name — MIXXTAIL. Yes all caps and with an unnecessary "x."

The beer-drinks — which the press release claims are the "perfect pregame in a bottle" — are all 8 percent ABV. Plus, they are designed to "quench consumers' demand for more variety," though it's unlikely that anyone has been shouting from the rooftops their desire for beer flavored like frat house cocktails. The MIXXTAILS will be available in 11.5 ounce resealable aluminum bottles (for pregaming on the go!) and single serve cans starting February 16.

There's no word on whether or not the MIXXTAILS will eventually be available through Bud Light's new delivery app. Called Bud Light Button, the app allows interested parties to order between one and 100 cases of beer and have it delivered within an hour. One can only dream.