Food-Themed Christmas Ornaments Have Zero Calories and Oodles of Yuletide Spirit

Popcorn balls are so 1896. This year, express your Yuletide spirit in a way that more befits your modern foodie prowess by decking out your Christmas tree with a bevy of hand-blown glass ornaments depicting your favorite comestibles.

Replacing the angel atop your Christmas tree with an actual Parma ham is probably not a good idea, but how about a hand-blown glass Parma ham ornament?

Trendy Ornaments

Everyone knows oysters are an aphrodisiac. Why not up the sexiness factor of your Douglas fir with a shimmering glass bivalve blessed with a single perfect pearl?

Trendy Ornaments

Got a taste for caviar? Brag about your taste for pricey fish eggs by hanging it on your tree while keeping the real Petrossian stashed far away from your bratty relatives.

Trendy Ornaments

If, on the other hand, you want your Christmas tree to show you're a down-to-earth man of the people, why not hang a head of iceberg lettuce, the Blake Lively of the food world — that is, bland as hell yet unavoidably omnipresent?

Trendy Ornaments

For the impossibly hip small plates enthusiast: The trendiest cruciferous vegetable of 2015, cauliflower, makes a striking contrast to the usual red-and-green holiday motifs.

Trendy Ornaments

Hanging a grilled cheese ornament on your tree says, "I'm cool, but not too cool to publicly display my affections for white bread and processed cheese food."

Trendy Ornaments

This wedge of moldy blue cheese, on the other hand, could be a smartly subtle way of telling your significant other that they have a foot odor problem.

Trendy Ornaments

Remember how psyched everyone was to finally get a taco emoji? Commemorate one of the most joyous days of the year with this oh-so-realistic shimmering glass version of the relentlessly Americanized Mexican favorite.

Trendy Ornaments

Need a little crunch and acidity to go along with all your other food ornaments? These pickle chips should do the trick.

Trendy Ornaments

Buy this majestic purple eggplant ornament to commemorate your love of Grandma's epic eggplant parm — or just to quietly hint to your younger siblings that yes, you do in fact know what that damn eggplant emoji is for.

Trendy Ornaments

Finally, giving this bottled water ornament a place of honor on your holiday tree is an excellent way to show your friends and family that your palate is much too sophisticated to be subjected to municipal tap water next time they invite you over.

Trendy Ornaments