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'South Park' Takes Down Yelpers Who Think They Are Restaurant Critics

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“I am a Yelp reviewer. I usually keep on the down low so they don’t kiss my ass too much.”

Comedy Central’s South Park tackled over-the-top Yelp reviewers last night and skewered them as promised. The episode — titled "You’re Not Yelping" — shows various residents of the town going on power trips at restaurants because they believe themselves to be food critics, thanks to their presence on Yelp. Cartman may be the worst of them all, constantly threatening one star reviews if he doesn’t get what he wants: "I was thinking of giving this place five stars, but I am kind of teetering on five stars or one star. I mean I can probably be persuaded with free desserts."

Gerald Broflovski, who is a lawyer, also takes his Yelping very seriously and believes his reviews are elegant masterpieces (On the chicken at Applebee’s: "And yet there is more, for in crisp time when autumn begins to fade, the chef brines the chicken in habanero.") Broflovski — who writes his Yelp posts while smoking a pipe — operates under the assumption that people are dependent upon his reviews: "I am overwhelmed, sometimes I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into, but now everyone relies on my Yelp reviews and I don’t want to let anyone down."

In what sounds like an Eater headline, one restaurateur eventually has enough of the Yelpers' antics and kicks them all out of his pizzeria. The Yelpers rebel and wage an all out war against the town's restaurants "that involves vandalism, bombs, and decapitation," per the A.V. Club. The restaurant owners then manage to secretly exact their revenge upon the Yelpers (without taking to Yelp to embarrass them). Go, watch the full episode above.

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