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The 12 Best Joan Rivers Quotes About Food

Photo: Sara Jaye/Getty Images

Yesterday, comedy icon Joan Rivers passed away. She famously couldn't cook, but Rivers wasn't afraid to dish it—and she was more equipped than anyone to handle insults when they were served back at her. In remembrance of the unruly, anti-domestic legend, here are some of her best quotes about food.

"Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?" (source)

"I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware." (source)

In a 2002 interview with Larry King:
KING: You were fat?
RIVERS: Oh, please, my...
KING: When?
RIVERS: In school. I watch my diet all the time. Truly, truly, I watch my diet, but I cheat. I live on Cool Whip. I am an all inside plastic person.
KING: You live on Cool Whip?
RIVERS: Cool whip, delicious. I don't think there is anything in it. There is no...
KING: There is no fat, right?
RIVERS: No nothing. I think it is like just plastic and white paint. (source)

"We all mourn in our own way. I mourn with a great steak." (source)

"I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge." (source)

"My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks." (source)

On Elizabeth Taylor:
"Elizabeth Taylor is so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin."
"Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds."
"Elizabeth Taylor pierced her ears and gravy ran out."
"Mosquitoes see Elizabeth Taylor and scream, 'Buffet!'" (source)

"On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell." (source)

"Don't you hate McDonald's? I heard you can't get a job there unless you have a skin condition." (source)

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