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New York's Tavern on The Green Is a Bad Restaurant

Photos: Paul Crispin Quitoriano

2014_shitshow_week1.222jpgAfter strolling past the street-side marquee for Tavern on the Green, guests might encounter any the following: brown trampled grass wedged between stones, weathered green wood panels, a quarter block's worth of knee-high weeds, construction tarp, a metal gate that seems to have been discarded long ago, and two giant shipping containers, one of them ajar, filled with what appear to be restaurant supplies. Turns out that $16 million, the reported cost of the most recent revamp, didn't fix everything.

"There's no one to take you to your table," a host said to me last week. "Would you like to wait here, or would you like to walk over yourself?" I accepted the more challenging option, and spent the next minute or so wandering through the stadium-sized outdoor seating area until my already-seated colleagues flagged me down. How luxurious.

Would you like to top that $22 mac 'n' cheese with salmon? >>

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