In celebration of the internet fake thing "Throwback Thursday," chef and Bizarre Foods host Andrew Zimmern unleashed video of a failed television pilot from back in 2001: According to Zimmern, Now You're Cooking was filmed for an unnamed home shopping network, featuring a jazzy live band and a man-on-the-street segment that sees Zimmern asking folks if they can identify a lotus root (the band thought it was a rutabaga).
The three-minute reel starts with a pink-panted Zimmern hoisting himself on top of a kitchen counter to chat with the small studio audience (as Zimmern noted on Twitter, those pants "were HAWT back then"). His monologue's sole joke? "If the only tool you have is a hammer, then every problem starts to look like a nail." [Rimshot and pause] "I have no idea what I just said." Go, watch: