In today's edition of You Can't Make This Stuff Up: Gossip queens TMZ are heralding minor celebrity Jamie Lynn Spears — younger sibling to pop singer and $26 bedazzled lollipop hawker Britney Spears — as a "sandwich shop vigilante" following an alleged incident at a Louisiana restaurant:
The violence broke out last weekend at the Pita Pit in Hammond, Louisiana -- Jamie Lynn Spears and a friend had made a late night stop for food, when ... according to sources close to Jamie ... someone attacked her friend. Cops tell us Jamie's friend got clocked with a bottle. That's when Jamie went all "Saving Private Ryan" ... dragging her friend to safety. Our Spears sources say Jamie pulled her behind the sandwich counter -- then grabbed a long serrated bread knife and started waving it around to stop the fight.
The report doesn't mention whether Jamie Lynn is a gyro fan or more of a falafel girl, but apparently her actions were heroic enough to warrant comparing her to World War II vets.