Everybody start wringing those hands: America's children are supposedly being peer pressured into snorting and smoking Smarties candy and local news reporters are freaking out about it. WHDH-TV 7News Boston reports that middle schoolers in Rhode Island have been caught crushing up and snorting the Smarties powder as if it were cocaine or inhaling it like a cigarette. Unlike past threats like alcoholic gummy bears and vodka-soaked tampons, Smarties will not inebriate the nation's children.
Smarties may give impressionable preteens nasal maggots, however. According to CBS, research cited by one middle school administration suggests that when sugary substances are in the nose for long periods of time, there is a higher risk that "infections may occur, worms may reside in the nose, [and] even maggots may flourish." In the WHDH-TV 7News Boston video below, concerned adults say things like "Who in their right mind would snort Smarties?" and "I couldn't believe it." Go, watch: