Last night on the Colbert Report host Stephen Colbert addressed First Lady Michelle Obama's Let's Move campaign and her suggestion that every American should drink one additional glass of water a day. Colbert balks: "Do you realize that water is the same thing they put in toilets? Think." He also says that although the First Lady is "lovely," since she started the Let's Move campaign "she's been shoving her pro-health agenda down our throats; throats that should be packed with chili cheese fries." He urges viewers to "fight Big Hydration" and "just say H-2-NO."
Colbert also gives a Tip of the Hat to what he calls "hammunition": ammunition that's been laced with pork. Created by Idaho-based Jihawg Ammo, the idea is to make Muslim extremists "unclean" for heaven. Says Colbert: "Non-Halal bullets are the perfect way to send our enemy the message that we only hinted at when we killed then." Go, watch: