Last night on the Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert tackled two pressing issues: a newish, "soul-rending" Cheerios ad and the incredibly expensive ice cubes sold by high-end culinary retailer Dean & DeLuca. After watching the "genius" Cheerios ad in which a boy suggests that by eating Cheerios he can eat breakfast with his deceased grandmother, Colbert hugs a body pillow with a grandmother cartoon on it and then comments: "I used to eat cereal without considering the long line of loved ones who have shuffled off this mortal coil...It was just something I ate when I didn't have time to make pancakes." He also points out that Cheerios is now a cereal of the "undead," along with Count Chocula, Boo Berry, Fiberatu: a Ruffage of Horror, and Cthuloops.
In Colbert Platinum, a "luxury segment for high net worth viewers," Colbert asks "how exclusive is your snifter of Louis XIII if you allow it to be cooled by cubes of frozen tap water AKA poverty punch?" He notes that Gläce Luxury Ice sold by Dean & DeLuca is "individually carved from a 300lb block to ensure flawless quality" and comes at the "luxury price" of $75 for 10 cubes. He calls them "the height of conspicuous consumption because an hour later you're literally pissing your money away." The videos are below. Go, watch: