Following Paula Deen's tragic apology yesterday on the Today show, almost every single late night host jumped on the story (well except for Jimmy Fallon, who's off this week, and Craig Ferguson who talked to animatronic robots). Almost everyone piled on: Jay Leno, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, and Joel McHale. All the video is below, but here's a quick recap of the best jokes from last night:
Jimmy Kimmel: "This is the biggest scandal in the world of celebrity chefs, since ... Mario Batali had sex with a turducken." And: "The interview got off to a rocky start when she instinctively tossed her keys at Al Roker." Also: "Her message though was simple. Her message was: Please keep paying me millions of dollars to eat mayonnaise on television."
David Letterman: "I don't know much about the woman. She reminds me, I always get behind this woman in the supermarket line, who's buying the cat food and the vodka."
Conan O'Brien: "During an interview on the Today show, Paula Deen started crying and said "I is what I is." So apparently Deen's not racist, she's Popeye." Andy Richter followed up: "I don't think Paula Deen eats a lot of spinach." Conan again: "Paula Deen claims she's gotten support from Rev. Jesse Jackson. But then Deen corrected herself and said, 'But maybe it was the mailman, I don't know, they all look the same.'"
Comedian and actor Bill Burr (a guest on Conan) on celebrities getting fired: "They just should have a channel for people who screw up. You just put em on that. I don't understand firing somebody. Like that's gonna... somehow help the problem? ... Just put em on a channel, like the Disgrace Channel or something."
Jay Leno: "It's been a bad week for Paula Deen. Yesterday she was on the Today show eating crow. I mean, the crow was buttered, deep-fried, and drenched in mayonnaise, but still: not good."
Joel McHale: "Paula says she's hoping to become the spokesperson for Nutella, since that's her second favorite n-word."
David Letterman Monologue: 06/26
Jay Leno Monologue: 06/26
Conan Monologue: 06/26
Conan: Bill Burr: "Paula Deen Is A $100 Million Whale"
Jimmy Kimmel Monologue: 06/26
The Soup: 06/26
· The Late Show: 6/26/2013 [CBS]
· Leno: Monologue, Part 1 [NBC]
· CONAN Monologue 06/26/13 [Team Coco]
· Bill Burr: "Paula Deen Is A $100 Million Whale" [Team Coco]
· Jimmy Kimmel Monologue: 06/26 [YouTube]
· The Soup: 06/26 [YouTube]
· All Paula Deen Coverage on Eater [-E-]
· All Paula Deen Coverage on Eater [-E-]