Last night on Saturday Night Live, Weekend Update's city correspondent and tweaked-out club kid Stefon (played by Bill Hader) returned to recommend places for tourists hitting New York City in Spring. He suggests Maaarry: "Open in 1997 by missing Florida woman Lisa Martinez, this club is currently going 90 miles per hour down the West Side Highway. This place has everything: charts, graphs, PowerPoint, a guy who still thinks Jamba Juice is still good for you."
He also recommends Your Mother and I Are Separating: "Don't be fooled by the charred Red Lobster sign out front. This club is a burned down Red Lobster. It has everything: a shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch, a sensible dinner. Those shoes that nurses wear." And then there's Selfie, a "SoHo hotspot located in a haunted diaper." According to Stefon, "This place has everything: sheets, ladders, the outdoor concert from a Zoloft commercial."
Video: Watch SNL's Stefon Recommend Nightclubs For Spring